So it’s already a hectic day at work and I can’t wait for the closing period so I can dust my legs and zoom off.
So I made sure I concentrate and did a lot of work, I am even walking up and down, to and fro, doing the work I was sent and the one I wasn’t sent with an extra (Jara).
Everyone is thanking me for helping out with their work and I am saying
“Don’t mention, Don’t mention”
Me am believing time would be by 6 pm.
Eventually I look at the time and it’s just minutes past 2! What!
Abi the battery in the wall clock is bad. I checked three phones and two extra wristwatches they were all saying the same thing; means they are all liars! The time in my head says 5 pm!
Anyway 5 hours later I closed by 7 pm, don’t even ask me why, my eyes are red with hunger so I didn’t even think twice before I jumped into a bus.
“Hey bro, how far”
My talkative colleague is in the bus! Oh my God why? how do I even tell the nigga that I am not interested in anything he planned to say now, later, in the past and the nearest future🤦♂
So the nigga started talking non stop as if he had 5 mouths on his face! I was just doing the default replies like
“Hmm, naso, yeah, okay, alright, wow, oh…”
It was all good until we got to a police checkpoint, our profound ‘police is your friend’ collected their daily tax and even gave the driver a number.
What! So you mean 335 pieces of 50naira.
50naira × 335 = 16750!
Well, I chose to mind my business anyway.
From nowhere the man beside us began to express his anger after we have passed the checkpoint o.
“I can’t believe this rubbish, I mean why would you give that policeman 50naira! For what? The last time that happened on my watch I slapped the policeman and nothing happened! It’s time we know our right as citizens of this country”
Before 2 minutes this bros has won fans in the bus o, he became my colleague’s immediate mentor in 45 seconds.
“Hmm, ride on sir, oh yes sir, we need a change in this country, wetin self, enough is enough”
Ah, what is happening here, I am now pinching the nigga to mind his business but the 5 mouths on his head would not heed to the warning of the spirits. I began to hear the warning bells in my 24th ear, trouble is coming o.
“In fact when we get to the next checkpoint I will demonstrate what it means to stand up for your right as a citizen of Nigeria, I am going to slap any policeman who dares ask for bribe from this bus!”
Ah the way this man is distributing moral like ice cream, he must be a soldier.
The bus has now turned to political campaign ground, everyone is shouting and hailing the Bros.
Well, I knew he was forming Bruce Lee because there were no more checkpoints until we get to the bus stop. Oh, wait oh! I was wrong! One traffic Jam just came from nowhere and we were now wondering what was the cause until we got closer to see it was our friendly tax collectors on their mopo.
Oya all eyes now turn to the Bros to demonstrate his talent, but my own Nigga who has been inspired to use his mouth became the one-man army and savior of the citizens who were already safe minding their business.
“Oga we no dey give you anything for this bus, enough is enough! We are going to stand up for our right you fools! and if you dare try us, we would beat you up here and now, abi my people”
The way the nigga was emphasizing on the ‘we’ eh, I hope I am not counted among this his ‘we’ o.
The nigga was facing the policeman through the window side so he had to turned back to call for support one more time,
It’s like he is now realizing the moral ship sank, living him as the only survivor.
“Right guys, we are going to slap this policeman”
” You and who oga? Abeg nor dey use the word we, make you talk for yourself!” One angry man shouted and gave my nigga one hot slap on his Moro head (bald head)
Boom! Hot sweat, his glasses fell three times, Nigga was sweating to his anus, I quickly changed my seat cos I don’t know him, I have never met him before.🏃
The black officer in the burning sun cracked his ak47 and screamed on top of his voice. Chai, this one even has three big tribal marks on his face, ewoh, it is finished.
Our supposed Captain Africa, leader of the supposed resistant fighters, came down from the bus immediately, so we were all thinking he was about to do some serious kungfu but we are all shocked to the bone as bros stopped another bus and disappeared.
Anyway, if there is anything I learned from Captain Africa, it was the ability to alight from the bus of heroes, enter another bus and disappear.🏃
What do I know, I am just minding my business🤷♂