So am home minding my business as usual, trying to gulp down some painkillers after discovering there ain’t any goddamn food to eat. Eyes are red, stomach is empty, lines of perspiration is visible on my forehead; the adage that says
A hungry man is an angry man is making perfect sense to me now.
So I come out to think about my present situation, there is no way am gonna go into that kitchen to cook, some provision must come somehow!
Few minutes into my personal brainstorming, next-door neighbor caused a breach in transmission, he totally ruined the dying minute info I was about to get from my creator.
“Man I need your help”
That was his excuse, he needs my help! My face is tight like a tough screw so he got to ask.
“What’s up bruh, are you okay”
I ain’t deaf nor dumb but I preferred communication without words. I yawned heavily and looked to him to get the point.
“Okay hold on, I bought fried rice from Mr. Biggs on my way back, make I bring for you na, we must talk after I give you the food o”
Oh, this nigga wants to push me over the board mehn, I can’t break the rules, I gotta mind my business, I gotta refuse the food! Anyway, I snatched the food the moment it got closer to my grip.
“So what’s up”
The food is safely in my tummy and my eyes is white now.
“I wan propose”
Oh good news, but what’s now my business sir, I began to wonder.
“I wan shock her, like I need concept”
Oh, I should mine my business oh.
“You know my slogan bruh, I can’t interfere”
The nigga frowns immediately.
“Oya give me my food”
His request got me thinking, I’ve been bribed like the road side security men tapping 50 naira from every toy on four wheels!
He got me hooked now.
“Okay try putting the ring in ice cream, while she is gulping down the ice cream she would definitely notice the ring”
The advice has not be tested and trusted, it was raw data awaiting a second review but Bros was okay with it so why not.🤷♂
A few hours later a shout was heard, someone is shouting “ambulance! Ambulance! Ambulance!”
My next-door neighbor has his beloveth on his shoulder like a bag of rice and is shouting “open the gate”
The beloved is coughing and hitting my dear neighbor.
“You didn’t hear what happened?”
They were gone and some other Bros comes to gist when I didn’t ask him.
“The guy put ring inside ice cream, naso the girl go swallow am o, he say na him friend tell am make he do am, the way the guy dey vex e fit kill that him friend self”
So I know I’ve got no friend in the compound but this particular friend the Bros is talking about sounds familiar, so I gently park some few clothes and traveled immediately to go and further my studies in minding my business.🤷♂