I will not marry because of love, I will marry because of this.

I will not marry because of love, I will marry because of this.

Life is not complete without what I’m about to tell you, I hope you read this note to the end and tell me what you think on the comments section.
At first, I used to think that love alone was enough to made marriages last until I witness two people who were madly in love stood before a divorce judge. “We love each other, but we just have to move on”

As often as I hate the ending of their story, I was madly in love with their love journey when the sweetness was still there. My friend would say, I want a love story just like their, but to me, I always wanted to create my own story, not that of Romeo and Juliet, but the one that will have me as the central character.

But, sometimes, I wonder why we have so much hatred and crime in the World even with all this “I love you” sickness that stroll our street everyday. Yes, here, “I love you” is very visible in the speech sense and mostly lacking in action.

I used to say that once I see someone that feel the same way like me and we have a little chemistry, I will love her, cherish her, value her and then plan on building tomorrow with her, though that has not change, but the truth is I know of many people who share in this same dream but sometimes we fail to recognise love when we see it.

Two days ago, I went to meet a couple who had been married for almost 32 years (November will make it 32). The first thing I saw  when he opened the door for me was that “she” kept on starring and smiling at him that I was somehow uncomfortable.

“Was I interrupting anything?” I would have asked but their favorite love song was still on and I couldn’t stop but admire their dance step.

“We’ve practice this dance steps for more than 20 years, it’s our anniversary dance step, we are preparing for November” the wife said after about 13 minutes of dancing. “Wait, you are not getting any younger, when are you getting married?” She stares at my face and demanded an urgent answers. I would have said I haven’t found her yet, but I didn’t want the long lectures, I’ve been on this hot seat for more than 3 years.

“Mummy, I’m still gathering the money, soon I will do it” i said and try to console myself with this thoughts “money is important, no lady will accept to marry a broke man who has just a pen and paper with so many big dreams yet nothing to show for it.” She reach  to slap me, but her husband held her back.

“I married him when he had nothing, I spent about 70% of the funds for our wedding , I rented our first apartment, I was providing for us for nearly two years, but today, he gave me a home, a life, and everything I ever wanted” There was a pause and a quick kiss.

“Abel, you don’t need money to start a home, you need a lady that believes in you, believes in your dreams and is ready to support you to achieve those dreams” she invited her husband to conclude the speech.

“Son, my first degree was in Zoology, I had two teaching job offers after graduation, I didn’t want to teach, I wanted to work in an oil company, at least that was my initial plan, but there was no openings available at that time for me, my girlfriend then, now my wife had accepted to teach and was smiling to the bank every month, I thought I was going to loose her but one day, I decided that I will marry her, it was like a joke initially, I didn’t have any bank account, she just accepted the offer and we started planning, it took us 3 months to finish the planning, and she sponsored everything (they both laugh),  rented our first apartment and supported me to finish my postgraduate degree in Business management which eventually landed me a job in a bank” He paused to take a drink, then the wife revealed the secrets.

“Abel, Love brought us together but it has been communication and understanding that has kept us, and I won’t forget God, our source of hope, we made the right decision”

Before you crucify me, let me pause their story for now.

Of a truth, love is the bridge that joins two hearts together, but it takes more than love to keep  it flowing
I will not marry her because of love. But If I see her now, I will marry her tomorrow because of what we can do together. I have come to understand that life is not a fairy tale but a reality that we must accept.

Of what value will our love be if we can’t make a difference in this World? Of what value will our love be if we can’t put smiles on the faces of those that needs our help. The World is in shambles, it doesn’t need me, it needs a better us to fix it.

I will marry her tomorrow, if she challenges me to be the best and promise to be my partner in this journey not a dictator. I don’t want the kind of love that ends only in bed, but the one that starts in the bed, walk through difficulty and gladly enjoy in fulfillment.

I will gladly walk with her to the altar tomorrow and tell the WORLD our story, if she can forget about the “I phenomenon” and accept the “us conclusion.”

I will not marry her because of love, I will marry her because I will stand by her, trust her, value her, invest in her and make her a better person.


I will not marry because of love, I will marry because of this.

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