LOVE IS A GAME [CHAPTER 16]

The scary thoughts that ran through Davies mind were not helping out. He was confused but he tried to calm himself to help resuscitate Coco. He knew his actions had triggered a painful memory which led to the attack, she has not totally healed from the trauma. He didn’t call for help, he believed he could handle the situation, although he resolved to take her to the hospital if it gets out of hand.

“Coco, it’s okay, you are safe, he won’t hurt you”

He sat on bare tiles and picked her to rest on his chest.

“No…please”

She pleaded but in a weak tone now; it was progress and he was glad. He kissed her forehead and soothed her hair.

“It’s okay love, I won’t let him touch you, I would never, you are safe with me”

She became calm, although she still shivered a little.

“You promise?”

She regained consciousness and tightened her grip on his shirt.

“I promise”

And he meant it, he didn’t care whoever the man in question is, dangerous or not he would keep to his promise, he would protect her.

“Okay” she said next and trailed off to sleep, he made sure her breathing was normal before he picked her up in his arms and placed her gently on the bed.

He didn’t move an inch, he wouldn’t dare, he stayed by her side, and when he got tired of sitting he paced round the bedroom.

“Who’s there?”
“It’s me sir, I brought lunch”

It was the maid who tried to pry but got caught.

“Drop it on the dinning table”

Hours later another maid came around.

“Sir dinner is served” he responded

“Drop it on the dinning table” the maid got to the table and discovered lunch was left untouched.

“Sir lunch is still here, do I heat it up for you two?”

She was trying to find a way to get into the bedroom and see Coco, it would be a good topic for gossip. They all fathomed Coco would be covered in bruises already.

“Take it with you and leave now”

She quickly scathed away with the food when she noticed his tone went serious.

“Davies?” She was awake  and he was so glad that he felt the need to hug her tight, but her expression towards him didn’t appear welcoming.

“I don’t want to see you Davies” she said and averted her eyes.

“I am so sorry Coco, I just got jealous, I should have given you a chance to express yourself, I am so sorry”

She was quiet, one thought popped her mind, why would he be jealous, does this mean her plans were working already? Is he falling for her. She waved it off, Davies was a man she couldn’t read, his emotions were like flashlight, they come and go.

“Please Coco”

Davies couldn’t believe he was actually pleading for forgiveness from a woman, this wasn’t him, he has never begged for mercy from anyone. But involuntary, before he realised it, he was beside this stranger, pleading his eyes out. She nodded with a weak smile to affirm she had forgiven him after 30 solid minutes.

“Who is Felix?”

He had been dying to ask the question, he didn’t care if it was too early to ask, he wanted to know, he couldn’t tame the curiosity that boiled within him. She hesitated for a while, this was a part of her past she kept to herself for years, the past that hunts her. But then, she felt the urge to tell him, she tried to contain it but it pushed on till she voiced out

“When i said i sleep with guys for fun, I was lying. He took my pride, he raped me, countless times. He was my first, I was still young and innocent. I wouldn’t let him touch me, and so one day he went mad with lust. He had me kidnapped for 3days and slept with me countless times. Anytime he felt the urge I was his end game. There was no escape, no one to fight for me, no one to hear my screams. I was missing for days yet no one searched for me, I was an abandoned child, left to die in the streets. I fought till I found no more strength to fight. I screamed till I lost my voice, I cried till I ran out of tears. I felt every piece of me die each time he parted my legs to satisfy himself, he would use me till he he got tired, and then he would push me aside like a piece of rag. ‘No one will save you, you are nothing, you have no one’ he always said and it was true, i was alone. He decided to let me go when he got tired of me, he left me to a curse because I saw him in my dream every night, touching me, forcing himself on me. sometimes I cried in my sleep and begged for mercy. I couldn’t go near a man for years, a single touch would trigger the memory, I would react and disgrace myself in public. I consulted a doctor who said I was going through trauma. I tried to forget and move on since the doctor said I alone can heal myself. Its been 10 years now and believe me I have tried to let it go, I have tried to build my pride as a woman again, but each time I try I hear his words again. ‘You are nothing’. It’s so hard Davies, it’s so hard. He is the reason I never wanted to get married, I was scared of what my husband would think of me, I wouldn’t let him touch me, yes i look all cool and strong on the outside, but deep down, I am broken, deep down I am a coward, deep down I beg for freedom”

She paused to wipe the tears that poured out of her eyes before she continued

“I am tired Davies. It’s like I am cursed, anywhere I go, some guy would force himself on me, it is like a must, but that’s not the real issue, I can defend myself since I grew on the streets. The issue is at that moment, I am defenseless. I become a fool, I begin to react like a scared kid. Davies I am tired, I am. Please help me beg God, I am tired, please Davies, I am…”
“Stop” Davies interrupted her. His eyes were red, not for anger, but with tears he tried to fight back. He stood up and turned his back to her. His clenched teeth and hardened jaw didn’t help in fighting back the tears, he held his mouth, he shouldn’t cry for this girl, no, it’s a sign of weakness. He felt the need to slap himself for how he forced himself on her, what was he thinking?

 She thought he saw her as dirt now, as one damaged being but she was wrong. He felt guilty, so guilty that he couldn’t look at her face again.

“I know I disgust you now”

Oh no, that’s so wrong, he hurried to her and took her hands in his.

“No no Coco, that’s not it”
“Then what is it? You can’t even look at me”

She persisted with a tearful voice.

“No Coco” he let the tears out now

“No, I feel guilty, I forced myself on you, I…”

He went mute with tears dropping from his eyes. They were both crying uncontrollably. Davies knew he had to be the strong one, he needed to console her but at that moment he couldn’t help himself.

“I am so stupid”

He said amidst the tears.

“It’s not your fault Davies, don’t be too hard on yourself”

She beckoned when she noticed he was taking all the blame. Callis was to blame and she had a plan for him.

“This guy, is he still alive?”

She nodded in response.

“He left Nigeria for London last year”
“Then he should pray I don’t come across him anywhere, cos he would curse the day he was born. He would beg for death”

©onyeneke Abel .March 2018 all rights reserved.

Love is a game

Continues.

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